It's 445 am, pitch black and I'm not really sure where I am. Eventually I spy the door. Trying to move as quietly as possible, so as not to wake anyone, I fumble for the key in my pocket and aimlessly thrust it in the general direction of the lock. At the fourth or fifth attempt the key hits home and I'm in. The door creaks open and I'm immediately blinded as harsh white lights spring into action. Busted again by the old man after another heavy night out? Nope, it's (apparently) much worse than that...I'm in the hotel gym in this week's Marriott and I'm about to do battle with the treadmill.
Looking at many of the posts on running forums this is a dirty little secret that I should keep to myself. It seems that "The dreadmill" isn't real running and that I should probably man up and get out there rather than slink into the gym and run the rubber road. In fact some might have it that I should probably not bother to run at all if I can't go outside and do it properly. Well, I'm here to fight back with the top 7 reasons (couldn't think of 10 sorry!) why I like running indoors:
7. Cupholders - Until such time as I splash the cash and solve my hydration issues with a Camelbak or just bite the bullet and hold the drinks bottle, it's a lot easier to pick up my drink, take a sip and put it down every ten minutes.
6. Dodgy knees - Being somewhat geriatric and having given my ligaments a battering in a past life my legs don't take well to too much pavement pounding. If I have to take the fake road to glory to get to the start line at all, then that's what I'm going to do.
5. I'm a scaredy cat - not only of getting lost at 5am in an unknown US town like last week but equally of running amongst the drunks and skunks of North End on a Friday night.
4. Nipple saving - If you let me bore you for long enough I'll tell you two things about the effects running have on me. The first is on my poor poor nipples. They've suffered so much over the last couple of years that the scar tissue keeps them up at all times. Add in a cold north wind, the copious amount of sweat I produce on any run and the blood will surely follow. On race days a top brand blister plaster will do the trick and keep me safe but peeling them off is stunningly painful. Until such time as I "go Essex" some BodyGlide and the still air of the gym are the pain free option.
3. Football - I gave up on Sky Sports at home over a year ago. There's no way that I'm able to sit alone in a room in my house for 90 minutes and watch football. In fact 9 minutes without the TV being turned to Peppa Pig may well be our record, so timing a run for 4pm on a Sunday or to coincide with a mid-week game is a good way to kill the proverbial two birds.
2. Toilets on tap - Unless I eat plain pasta for 48 hours before a run or ram myself full of Imodium (the long term effects of being a regular user I am far from clear on) then I need to be sure that my route takes me past a convenience or two. Being known for an encyclopedic knowledge of the toilets of Portsmouth is something that even George Michael would be less than proud.
1. Intervals - Actually this may be the only real reason, the one that I'd genuinely use to persuade all doubters to give the treadmill a go. There is no doubt in my mind that running intervals at set speeds for set times improves my speed. Outside I may try to run at a certain speed for a time but will inevitably slow and/or spend half the time looking at my watch to check my speed and the time. In the gym, on the treadmill I can set my program and I know I'll get the exact minutes at the exact speed to improve me.
So there it is, I'm out and feeling good about it. If you have any interest left after that ramble and are thinking of entering the "guess my time" competition I'm running you'll be interested to know that I spent 1h:50m on the treadmill and either covered 12 miles or stayed exactly where I was, you decide.
Looking at many of the posts on running forums this is a dirty little secret that I should keep to myself. It seems that "The dreadmill" isn't real running and that I should probably man up and get out there rather than slink into the gym and run the rubber road. In fact some might have it that I should probably not bother to run at all if I can't go outside and do it properly. Well, I'm here to fight back with the top 7 reasons (couldn't think of 10 sorry!) why I like running indoors:
7. Cupholders - Until such time as I splash the cash and solve my hydration issues with a Camelbak or just bite the bullet and hold the drinks bottle, it's a lot easier to pick up my drink, take a sip and put it down every ten minutes.
6. Dodgy knees - Being somewhat geriatric and having given my ligaments a battering in a past life my legs don't take well to too much pavement pounding. If I have to take the fake road to glory to get to the start line at all, then that's what I'm going to do.
5. I'm a scaredy cat - not only of getting lost at 5am in an unknown US town like last week but equally of running amongst the drunks and skunks of North End on a Friday night.
4. Nipple saving - If you let me bore you for long enough I'll tell you two things about the effects running have on me. The first is on my poor poor nipples. They've suffered so much over the last couple of years that the scar tissue keeps them up at all times. Add in a cold north wind, the copious amount of sweat I produce on any run and the blood will surely follow. On race days a top brand blister plaster will do the trick and keep me safe but peeling them off is stunningly painful. Until such time as I "go Essex" some BodyGlide and the still air of the gym are the pain free option.
3. Football - I gave up on Sky Sports at home over a year ago. There's no way that I'm able to sit alone in a room in my house for 90 minutes and watch football. In fact 9 minutes without the TV being turned to Peppa Pig may well be our record, so timing a run for 4pm on a Sunday or to coincide with a mid-week game is a good way to kill the proverbial two birds.
2. Toilets on tap - Unless I eat plain pasta for 48 hours before a run or ram myself full of Imodium (the long term effects of being a regular user I am far from clear on) then I need to be sure that my route takes me past a convenience or two. Being known for an encyclopedic knowledge of the toilets of Portsmouth is something that even George Michael would be less than proud.
1. Intervals - Actually this may be the only real reason, the one that I'd genuinely use to persuade all doubters to give the treadmill a go. There is no doubt in my mind that running intervals at set speeds for set times improves my speed. Outside I may try to run at a certain speed for a time but will inevitably slow and/or spend half the time looking at my watch to check my speed and the time. In the gym, on the treadmill I can set my program and I know I'll get the exact minutes at the exact speed to improve me.
So there it is, I'm out and feeling good about it. If you have any interest left after that ramble and are thinking of entering the "guess my time" competition I'm running you'll be interested to know that I spent 1h:50m on the treadmill and either covered 12 miles or stayed exactly where I was, you decide.
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